As a professor of a law school, I've had the pleasure (and sometimes the exasperation) of teaching a wide array of students. While each student brings their unique charm to the classroom, there are certain habits and behaviors that can drive a professor just a little bit nuts. Let's take a humorous look at some of these quirks with a dash of fun:
1. The Perpetual Latecomer
Description: This student strolls in 15 minutes late with a coffee in hand, acting like they just saved the world.
Humorous Take: "I'm not saying you're always late, but I’m starting to think you have a vendetta against punctuality. Are you in a secret society that worships the 'fashionably late'?"
"Oh, you missed the first 15 minutes? Don’t worry, it was just the syllabus!"
2. The Phantom
Description: Rarely seen in class, appears only during exams or when grades are due.
Humorous Take: "I was beginning to think you were a figment of my imagination. Are you writing your thesis on the art of invisibility?"
"Casper, is that you? Or just my student who missed every class?"
3. The Overzealous Hand-Raiser
Description: Has an opinion on everything and ensures everyone hears it. Multiple times.
Humorous Take: "Your enthusiasm is commendable, but if I had a nickel for every time you raised your hand, I'd be funding the next class party."
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but let’s give others a chance, shall we?"
4. The Professional Sleeper
Description: Masters the art of dozing off with their eyes open, head nodding in rhythm to the lecture.
Humorous Take: "I applaud your dedication to multitasking. It's not easy balancing the intricacies of contract law with REM sleep."
"Caught between a dream and a PowerPoint slide."
5. The Laptop DJ
Description: Typing furiously, seemingly composing a symphony of keyboard clicks, yet somehow always behind on assignments.
Humorous Take: "I'm curious, are you writing a novel, coding the next big app, or just really passionate about transcribing my every word into Morse code?"
"Whatever you're typing, it better be the next legal thriller!"
6. The Textbook Negotiator
Description: Hasn't bought the required reading material and tries to wing it with summaries from questionable sources.
Humorous Take: "While your ingenuity is impressive, I must inform you that Wikipedia and Insta won’t be co-teaching this semester."
"No textbook? No problem. Just don't be surprised when your grade is 'C-' for 'Creative Research'."
7. The 'Could You Repeat That?' Champion
Description: Asks you to repeat the last point just as you're moving on to the next slide.
Humorous Take: "I’m considering installing a rewind button for your convenience. Or maybe I should start every sentence with 'In case you missed it the first time...'"
"Rewind, play, repeat. My lectures are starting to feel like a broken record!"
8. The Smartphone Enthusiast
Description: Constantly checking their phone, possibly running a social media empire.
Humorous Take: "I see you're managing international relations in class. Just remember, if you tweet about my lecture, tag me for proper citation."
"Can’t wait to see your post: 'Caught a great nap in Prof’s class today! "
9. The Library Hermit
Description: Lives in the library, yet always claims they didn’t have time to finish the reading.
Humorous Take: "Do you have a secret teleportation device that takes you to a dimension where time stands still? Because 'library all day, no time to read' sounds like quantum physics to me."
"Living in the library but never finishing the readings? Sounds like the plot of Orry's novel!"
10. The Eternal Debater
Description: Questions every point, turning lectures into mini-courtroom dramas.
Humorous Take: "Your cross-examination skills are top-notch. However, this isn’t a moot court, and my lecture isn't on trial."
"This isn’t a courtroom drama series. Save some of that zeal for actual case work!"
While these pet peeves might ruffle some feathers, they also make teaching an adventure. Each student’s quirks contribute to the dynamic and unpredictable nature of the classroom. So, the next time you catch me shaking my head or stifling a laugh, just remember - I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Feel free to share your own classroom anecdotes or add your humorous take on student behaviors in the comments below!
Let's celebrate the quirks that make a law school community unique.
amazing sir