Smriti Singh is the 26-year-old widow of Army Captain Anshuman Singh who was recently posthumously awarded Kirti Chakra, the second-highest peacetime gallantry award in India. A few days ago, social media was taken by storm when the videos of Smriti Singh taking the award with her mother-in-law from President Draupadi Murmu went viral. The media garnered great sympathy for Smriti and her interview where she talked about her 8-year-long relationship with Captain Anshuman Singh and a short-lived marriage was well received. But suddenly the narrative changed when the interview of the parents of Captain Anshuman Singh surfaced, in which they alleged that Smriti Singh took the ex-gratia amount and medal with her and changed the permanent address of his son. Media also reported that Smriti Singh has left India and will pursue higher studies in Australia.
It started the witch-hunting of Smriti Singh wherein she was accused of leaving behind her in-laws and moving in with her parents, her in-laws chose to go public with their grievances against their daughter-in-law and accused her of not letting them hold the Kirti Chakra. The tone of the interviews slightly shifted when Army sources revealed that the parents had got Rs 65 lakh, which was about a third of the Rs 50 lakh aid offered by Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath and half of the Army Group Insurance Fund of Rs 1 crore.
It is not the first time that the country has witnessed a young widow, but it is probably the first time that NOK rules are in the news for being unjust. A soldier's wife embodies a unique form of bravery, standing steadfastly beside her partner through the uncertainties and challenges of military life. She faces long periods of separation, often managing the household and family alone, while carrying the emotional weight of her spouse's potential danger. NOK rules acknowledge the sacrifice made by the partners of martyrs. In many cases, kids are also left behind, the custody of whom is with their mother only. NOK rules are well thought out and are made with the welfare of all kept in mind.
One is forced to ponder over the discomfort of society with a widow’s autonomy. Smriti Singh’s marriage lasted only 5 months and she is just 26 years old with her whole life to be unfolded. How her in-laws went public with their criticism is testimony to the fact that probably there was no bond between them. It also highlights their impatience towards her who is facing a never imagined trauma. A love relationship that lasted for 8 years but ended as soon as it reached its destination. The fact that her in-laws wanted her to marry their other son points towards their complete disregard for her loss and trauma.
Our society is uncomfortable with voluntary singledom and tries to restrict widows in the name of sympathy. Smriti is entitled to decide the fate of her life. Her sacrifice should be well acknowledged and cannot be left to be demeaned by her in-laws only because she decided that she would not live with them and lawfully changed the permanent address to which all communications about her husband can be made. It is distasteful how the media also joined hands in defaming her. One day she was being applauded for her courage and the very next day she was demeaned for taking away the Kirti Chakra and prize money as if it never belonged to her
The right to life is a fundamental human right, enshrined in various international and national legal frameworks. For Smriti Singh, this right encompasses not only the basic entitlement to live but also the right to live with dignity, security, and access to resources that ensure her well-being. It is high time that society evolves to honor women’s autonomy and respect the decisions made by widows like Smriti Singh. The possibility that she has left India suggests that Smriti Singh desires a life where she is recognized as more than just the widow of a martyr, seeking an identity and existence beyond this singular association.
Very well articulated Manika. Thanks for sharing.